June 17, 2010

I've been doing horrible this past week.
Terrible carb cravings. This always happens before shopping time because most of my healthy options are gone so I go for the frozen chicken nuggets, then the pop tarts, then it's all downhill!!!
Today I vow once again to restart my healthy eating. I haven't eaten yet. Breakfast plan is to actually cut up my cantaloupe that is hanging out in the fridge. I need a no bread product few days. I always have to do this to kick my carb cravings. I will miss my burritos for the next 3 days or so but will do what I must to get back on track :)
My weight is hanging out at 111 lbs since the soup diet. Yep I gained back one pound but I'm still OK with it especially considering how I have been eating the past week!!
I need to be careful though. I am good at maintaining my weight now because I have learned how to be careful.
I'm still not committed enough to make myself lose this last little bit of weight which does irritate me but my feelings are always changing. I am now not at the very high end of the healthy weight range but more middle ground. Is the low end actually desirable????? I don't know, maybe it's excessive. I don't want to be one of those people who thinks I'm overweight when I'm clearly not. I think part of my struggle is the way I saw my mom. She NEVER went over 107 lbs. She usually was around 100 lbs and was always trying to gain weight. When she lost her health was when she gained weight. When she passed away she was weighing in at 115 and looked horrible. She was bloated and just overall not good. I am built like my mother, except I have a chest where she didn't...I inherited that gift from my dads family lol. BUT I always feel that I also should weigh 107 at my highest point. I shouldn't think like that. I really AM my own person!!!! I am not EXACTLY like my mother. It should be great for me to weigh 111 lbs.
Now that I had this pep talk with myself maybe I can concentrate more on my fitness because I have been neglecting that too much lately too. Right now I'm training for a 10K race. I want to run the whole thing. Because of that I am not weight training for the next two weeks. Weight training makes me too tired to run at my best. I know I shouldn't skip it but I am and am really trying to not feel the guilties over it.
THAT is hard with the motivated mamas lol. We are all about all around health and when a piece of the segment gets neglected we let each other know it.